Space Junk City

Lawrence Fan · Post by **Lawrence Fan** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 7:00 pm

EDIT: This is a joke and didn't really happen to me.
=====================================

"I got a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend the other day. We lost track
of time, chatting about the wild, romantic nights we used to enjoy together. I
couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up to
rekindling a little of that "magic."

Wow!" I said. "I'd love to but I don't know if I could keep pace with you now.
I'm a bit older and a bit balder than when you last saw me. She just giggled
and said she was sure I'd "rise" to the challenge. "Yeah" I said, "just so long
as you don't mind a man with a waistline that's a few inches wider these
days." She laughed and told me to stop being so silly. She teased me, saying
that tubby bald men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great
lover. Anyway," she giggled, "I've put on a few pounds myself!"

So I told her to fuck off."

sturgeongeneral · Post by **sturgeongeneral** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 6:56 pm

A lady goes to the doctor and complains that her husband is losing interest in sex.

The doctor gives her a pill, but warns her that it's still experimental. He tells her to slip it into his mashed potatoes at dinner, so that night at dinner, she does just that.

About a week later she`s back at the doctor, where she says, "Doc, the pill worked great! I put it in the potatoes like you said! It wasn`t five minutes later that he jumped up, raked all the food and dishes onto the floor, grabbed me, ripped all my clothes off and ravaged me right there on the table!"

The doctor says, "I`m sorry, we didn`t realize the pill was that strong! The foundation will be glad to pay for any damages."

"Nah," she says, "that`s okay. We're never going back to that restaurant anyway."

sturgeongeneral · Post by **sturgeongeneral** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 6:47 pm

Mental Note to Self: If invited to Zeagleman's for dinner and they are serving meatloaf and mashed pototoes insist on ordering a pizza.

highlandcreek · Post by **highlandcreek** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:53 pm

Whoot! 4:20 on 4/20!

Don't spill your bongwater!

Lawrence Fan · Post by **Lawrence Fan** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:39 pm

highlandcreek wrote:
camaroheadus wrote:
ScottZeagle wrote:If I knew it was gonna be this type of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes...
maura?
No, M-M-M-M-M-M-Maura's dick would've *already* been in the mashed potatoes, no matter what kind of party it was.

Kel, your post was at exactly 4:20 here where I live.

Rock on!

4:20 ! ! ! ! ! ! ! ! !

=D

highlandcreek · Post by **highlandcreek** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 2:20 pm

camaroheadus wrote:
ScottZeagle wrote:If I knew it was gonna be this type of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes...
maura?

No, M-M-M-M-M-M-Maura's dick would've *already* been in the mashed potatoes, no matter what kind of party it was.

camaroheadus · Post by **camaroheadus** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:40 pm

ScottZeagle wrote:If I knew it was gonna be this type of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes...

maura?

ScottZeagle · Post by **ScottZeagle** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:32 pm

If I knew it was gonna be this type of party, I would have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes...

highlandcreek · Post by **highlandcreek** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:29 pm

camaroheadus wrote:
highlandcreek wrote:
camaroheadus wrote:friday afternoon. i refuse to do any more work.
friday afternoon. if i don't get it done now, i'm doing it this weekend
yeesh! wasn't gloating. merely making a proclimation of my laziness.

Ha! I was not taking it as gloating.

I was just amazed at how quickly the afternoon is going by, when usually they go soooooo sloooooow.

camaroheadus · Post by **camaroheadus** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:26 pm

highlandcreek wrote:
camaroheadus wrote:friday afternoon. i refuse to do any more work.
friday afternoon. if i don't get it done now, i'm doing it this weekend

yeesh! wasn't gloating. merely making a proclimation of my laziness.

highlandcreek · Post by **highlandcreek** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 1:14 pm

camaroheadus wrote:friday afternoon. i refuse to do any more work.

friday afternoon. if i don't get it done now, i'm doing it this weekend

sturgeongeneral · Post by **sturgeongeneral** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:57 pm

At least someone believes in me. Sob! Weep!

camaroheadus · Post by **camaroheadus** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:50 pm

sturgeongeneral wrote:I was just an innocent lurker on this board for app. 2 years before I first posted. And now look at me. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody. But no, I am just some anonymous poster. The downward spiral.

anonymous??? you're teh sturgeon fung lee!!! the lightning poster. proficient in all message board kung-fu. master of the emoticon-quoter technique. deadly i tell you!

sturgeongeneral · Post by **sturgeongeneral** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:41 pm

I was just an innocent lurker on this board for app. 2 years before I first posted. And now look at me. I coulda had class. I coulda been a contender. I coulda been somebody. But no, I am just some anonymous poster. The downward spiral.

camaroheadus · Post by **camaroheadus** » Fri Apr 20, 2007 12:15 pm

hey, at least you can work on getting to 1000 posts.